The more I think about it the more I realize that I really let my fears and worries get out of hand. I find myself worrying mostly about the big picture basically things out of my control but now a lot of other stuff has come up that my family has to deal with.
The thing is I don’t know how to stop worrying about such things. This is a bad habit of mine that I’ve just can’t seem to get over. Another problem I have is my mindset, it seems like whenever something negative happens that catches my attention its all I can think about. I’ve been having trouble trying to change my mindset so I’m not so focused on every little bad thing that happens.
I need some advice on how I can change my mindset and how to keep a cool head when things don’t look too good – Marshawn
Marshawn, you are better off than many other people who are not even aware that their fear is running their life. Here in your question you do mention that your fears and worries are just getting out of hand.
Now basically, what is fear? and why do we worry? We usually fear when our mind is under some kind of attack. It could be a situation, it could be a certain person.
But your mind, at that point of time is deriving your sense of self from that situation or what that person is saying to you. So this kind of living happens when we are continuously focused on things that is other than us. We do not really know our true self.
We think I am so and so, We think I am that person working at that job. The definition of me is more on a very conceptual basis. It is basically based on what we are known as in society, what we own, how we look etc.
So say we are not performing well at our job, suddenly this fear will start to arise from within, because the mind thinks that we will lose this job. So you will lose your identity of some kind.
So fear and worry is totally a mental thing and to deal with it, to overcome it all you have to do it take control over your mind, or you have to at least get in this consciousness when you are getting scared or you fear something you start worrying, you need to get this consciousness that you are not the situation, you are not what that person is saying to you.
And you can develop this consciousness by practicing self-awareness which I also like to call finding yourself everyday. Please sign up below for a free guide on how to practice self-awareness.
What will happen when you start practicing self awareness, there will be some space between the situation and who you really are.
Currently your mind is attached to certain problems in your life. You are continuously trying to think of solutions and each thought that we generate, it spills some chemicals within us.
So if it is a happy thought you may start to feel good, but if it is a negative thought of fear and worry there is a lot of chemicals that are of no good to us spilling in our body, making us feel terrible.
So the first thing that you need to do is to start training your mind to be more conscious in your everyday life. By being conscious you engage your mind in the awareness of your true self.
You time and again get your mind to realize who you really are and not to derive your sense of self from what is happening on the outside. Nowadays we are so busy with our lives, we are so consumed with whatever we are are doing, that our mind has no option but to derive your sense of self from whatever you do, whatever you have in this world.
But as long as you are deriving your sense of self from the job that you have, the designation that you have at your firm, it is a very aspect of your life and that can only give you limited happiness.
Through this practice of self awareness you will get in touch with your true self. A self that is abundantly calm and peaceful. A self that is filled with happiness. When I say filled with happiness, you can only be happy when your mind is calm, when your mind is stable. The minute it starts shaking, all fear, anger, all the negative emotions arise, boredom can arise.
So as far as your situation goes right now. You and your family are going through some kind of crisis, You’ll are having a situation to deal with. But you need to bring in this realization that you are very different from the situation. You are something bigger than the situation. Once you start practicing self awareness you will get there.
Another thing is that you want to change your mindset, it’s always better to have a positive mindset. But everyday we do not meet people who shower us with positive information or people who have a totally positive mindset, specially if they are consumed by their problems and living unconsciously which is in an automated fashion where a situation arises and you react, instead of having the space to choose what to do.
The space to choose will only come with the practice of self-awareness.
As far as your mindset goes, since your friend circle may not be positive people, Even right now in the family there is a crisis or problem which is a burden right now. What you can do is start exposing this consciousness, this awareness to good information.
Example you can up a good motivational book and read 8 to 10 pages per day. Over time you will finish one book, you can start the next, and by the end of the year you may have read at least 5 to 6 books. Now what will happen after you read 5 to 6 books, you have a lot of information a lot of pointers which is very different from the life you are living right now.
The data you have in your mind is much better, more positive and you will start living in that fashion. You will be more positive when a problem arises, because now you have 2 things working for you.
- You are practicing self awareness: this awareness is creating the space and is detaching your mind from deriving a false sense of self. So you are working on training your mind to be more conscious on a daily basis.
- Secondly, you are gathering positive information by reading motivational books, good self-help books, your thoughts are changing because you are reading stuff that positive people are writing about. There are so many websites online where you getso much positive information from them, you get daily emails from them. You can sign up for stuff like that and change your mindset.
- Third thing that you can do which will help you with self-awareness, it will also help you with a positive mindset is to allot say 30 to 40 minutes of the day to do some physical exercise. It could be brisk walking, jogging, aerobics or weight training it is up to you. Exercise will help get attention from your mind into your body, which is a big part of self awareness.
The thing is the whole day we are continuously churning thought. Our attention is only on thought. We do not have or know any dimension other than thought of living.
With the practice of self awareness you are then aware of a different dimension from which you can live your life. You can free yourself from the bondage of attachment to thought. You will train your mind to derive your true sense of self.
So if you practice these 3 things you will see alot of change. Again sign-up below if you haven’t yet done it for a free guide on how to practice self awareness.
I thank you for visiting my website – Neil Azavedo
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