In this video I would like to discuss “Happiness from the outside in approach”. That is deriving Happiness from an outside in approach, is it really worth it or not.
What I mean from an outside in approach is, something needs to happen on the outside, a certain outcome and then we create happiness within. We have got into this belief system right from a very small age. When we were bought a new toy we used to be happy and our parents used to confirm to us, you are given whatever you want you need to be happy.
So this went on and on till now and we still live with this belief system that something needs to happen on the outside so that I can be happy, otherwise there is really nothing to be happy.
- Either people have to be good to me, speak nicely to me, respect me for me to be happy.
- My house needs to look really nice, clean, it need to be in the right location for me to be happy.
- The society that I live in needs to be of quality people who are living a very healthy lifestyle or wealthy lifestyle for me to be happy
- I need to be driving one of the best cars or highly priced cars for me to be happy
- My friends should keep in touch with me always so that I am happy
This list can go on and on and on. Now this is the outside in approach of deriving happiness in our life. The amount of time we are happy is naturally limited because it is just a stimulus. When it happens we are happy for an hour or so and then we are back to our routine.
Another approach is when we set a certain goal in life.. say in the next 6 months I am going to achieve a goal. Now when we do this we do not understand that we are basically trapping ourselves for a very tough time to achieve that goal. It depends naturally on the kind of goal that you have set.
Like if it something really out of reach than it could get very difficult for you to achieve it. And your happiness depends on achieving that goal. if you do not achieve that goal you will not be that happy.
So once that goal is achieved for a very little while you may get happy. But than what happens about the span of time that you have spent to achieve that goal.
Example : You have a project to complete at work and it is only after that the team will be happy, because the project is completed. Now it is a 3 month goal and along the way if we are not aware all we will be doing is creating stress, strain, conflict, anger. Because you have to achieve that goal within the 3 month..
If that is not achieved it is a failure, again unhappiness. So do we want the result of any of our goals to be a product of stress, anger, conflict… will that give us happiness or the journey of achieving the goal should be peaceful, calm, stable, friendly, comfortable… to give us happiness.
Its insane people create so much of stress, so much of strain in their life, they are worried, they have fears, they are in constant conflict with their colleagues to meet deadlines…. and when they achieve a goal I do not know how they are happy. Because I mean you have created so much of unhappiness along the way that you do not deserve to be happy when you achieve that goal.
But while achieving that goal if you were aware of what is happening and what you ought to do on a daily basis, engage in activities of reaching your goal with happiness by being fulfilled from within, by being self fulfilled by being calm peaceful when you take each step everyday to achieve your goal.
If you live life from this dimension of being self fulfilled, of living each day happily and not waiting for the fulfillment of a goal to be happy. Life will be much more simpler that way. We will create less conflict, we will take care of each one of us along the way. We will not try and impose our point of view on others just because we need to complete a certain goal. We will not create conflict and anger within our team mates.
But this awareness can only come if you train your mind not to be attached to false streams of happiness, which is a goal. A goal is a false stream of happiness, it is just a mental stimulus to create happiness within.
We need to approach the activity of your goal on a daily basis by being stable and peaceful from within. The practice of self awareness will help us do this, which I also call finding yourself everyday. Please sign-up below to download a free guide.
Let us make it our goal to be happy now, why not? be happy now, why wait for a goal to be achieved to be happy. Why wait for something to happen so that I feel peaceful, why do I want a certain environment to feel calm, why do I want to go to the outskirts of a city to feel peaceful. Why can’t I do it right now, it is possible and easy to do. All you have to do is practice self awareness to achieve this on a daily basis.
Then engage in your activities of life, in that state of freedom. In the state of freedom from attachment of a false stimulus for happiness.
I wish you the best in your life and do give it a thought and know from within that it is not worth it to be happy after achieving a goal when the journey was stressful, it created conflict, it created doubt, it created fear and worry in your life.
Lets achieve our goals being self fulfilled, being happy, being stable and calm, being friendly with our colleagues, having good thoughts along the way. And when it is achieved it is a big bonus.
I thank you for visiting my website, please share the content on your social networks so that the word can go around. — Neil Azavedo
Image by : Symphony of Love